sacrifice

an interesting term. the dictionary definition is the surrender or destruction of something prized or desirable for the sake of something considered as having a higher or more pressing claim. Though there is also a shortened version of - to surrender something for the sake of something else.

What do we sacrifice in our lives either for the greater good of those around us or even for ourselves? Often times, we look at it from a physical perspective. Make a new years resolution to not each as much sugar, or drink as much pop, or watch as many movies or spend as much money. These are sacrifices. During Lent, many people make goals to abstain from certain items or activities. Granted this time frame isn't as long as prementioned resolutions- but those participating are still sacrificing something they desire. Yet, they are doing it for a higher purpose. To show their faith and their willingness to follow the rules, knowing they will be blessed for it in the long run.

We can look at time the same way. We sacrifice moments of our lives for certain activites. Church, work, performances, rehearsals, sports practices, shopping- all positive and all necessary at one point or another. And often times we reap more benefits from these activites then if we spent the time doing something else, or going somewhere else. So again, we give up something of our own in return for something better, something greater.

So now I get to the nitty gritty of the matter. The sacrifices we make for other people, and the willingness other people attain to make sacrifices for us. How do we determine what we will or won't give up for another person? This could be either in a family dynamic or a dating partnership or really any interpersonal relationship. What kinds of things do we give up for our friends, for our neighbors, for our co workers, for our congregation members or even for strangers? There have been times I've had to give up going somewhere because of a prior commitment to something or someone else. Yet still, how do we determine which decision to make? when do we ascertain the knowledge to make the best decision- give up something of our own or let someone else give up something of theirs? Do we become the better person by our willingness to surrender something? Or is there a point where we just don't have anything left to give?

Many people in my life recently have asked a simple question- should you be committed to someone if they aren't making the same effort in the relationship as you are? Now again, this could apply to any kind of relationship. If one party is giving, giving, giving and the other party is taking, taking, taking- should the relationship stay intact? Or should roads of communication be opened to bring the couple to a more balanced level? Or- if those are just the personalities of the two invovled, would communication even assist? But should you completely end a relationship with someone simply because the scales are uneven? This person may mean the world to you, and this person may shine light in certain corners of your life others don't have access to. This person may offer you escape from the hassles of the world- and make you believe that anything is possible. So should you cut the cords and let them free simply because they may not show their affection to you the same way you show affection to them?

Everyone expresses emotions differently. And you'd hope people would treat others the way they want to be treated. however, lately, I've begun to wonder just how much I have left in certain areas. This isn't meant to sound egotistical, but there are parts of my life, of my soul that I've given out in numerous circumstances. I have made several sacrifices for what I felt to be ther greater good. yet, I haven't always seen the benefits of those decisions. And I'm almost tapped out. So, what do I do now? Do I take time to replenish myself- take time to refill my glass so I see it as half full? Then, when something new (or renewed) comes along, I actually have the strength and the optimism to fully appreciate and understand it? Or do I simply keep doing what I'm doing and hope the results are more clear this time around? I took a moment and compared what I had done versus what someone else has. It wasn't meant to be derogatory or hurtful- it was to simply make a point. It shocked me the discrepancies between the two. I don't know if I can do that again. I don't know if I have the energy left to give so much- and have so little of it returned. Again, I know that sounds terrible, but it's how I'm feeling right now.

I'm emotionally and physically drained. I'm gracefully throwing in the towel- but also weary about future examples. how do I know I won't repeat the same pattern again and again and again? I probably shouldn't be asking this- but it's been on my mind. When will someone make the sacrifice for me? Though through it all, I know God is somewhere opening a window. I'll just have to keep looking for it- and then follow the pathway it leads me to. For after all, he knows where our lives are heading and the best way of getting us there.

Lead on kindly light. Lead on.