Fears

There are three things in this life that scare me half to death...probably shouldn't be admitting tothis on the world wide web but whatever...

Number one- spiders. Yuck, yuck and yuck! Whoever thought that creating a tiny little animal with eight legs and creepy looking eyes was a good idea.....I know that they eat bugs and I know there must a be a good reason why they are on this planet...I just haven't figured it out yet. However, I do find it hilarious that I am so frightened of something so small. But you find me one person who doesn't think that they are at least a little creepy....

Number two- sharks.Now, I know that living here in Utah sharks are the last thing I have to worry about. However, you will also never find me watching Jaws any time soon. I mean, my family went to Sea World a few years ago and we walked down the tunnel for the shark exhibit...it's a long tunnel with glass on either side and the sharks come right up to the glass and open their mouth and show off all their teeth. Now I am terrified of drowning...so the whole time I am walking down the path i'm thinking in my head..."If this glass breaks not only are we going to be eaten by sharks, we're gonna drown." NO thank you!

Number three- snakes. I hate em! I hate em! They are the nastiest animals I have ever seen. I am still trying to figure out what good they bring to the world. I get the hibbe jibbes when I see them in zoos, but when I see the out in public.....yeech! I have had a snake crawl under my legs when I was hiking one time...on a hike with my dad and brother we saw not one, not two but THREE baby rattlesnakes....and I have seen two snakes behind my place of employment which is in Salt Lake. I mean, work is supposed to be a place of refuge from stuff like that....

Then last night, I had the creepiest dream. I dreamed that I was surrounded by snakes, that they were all over my house and I couldn't get away from them. That my friends, is my definition of a nightmare. What I'm wodnering is- how much of that dream was a metaphor for what may be coming.....

It's interesting that one of my best friends has the exact same fear.....the same best friend that knows allof mine....with everything that happened this last weekend....I'm starting to connect the dots....and I'm starting to see where they might lead....and maybe that scares me the most....

So my friend "Kimmy" sent me a postcard from Nauvoo where she is serving a mission this summer. She is a performing missionary and was teasing about how hot and humid it was. She's living off otter pops. She asked me how my life was, including boys and work. So, I thought about it and (since I still haven't written her back yet) came up with my answer.

So a funny thing happened to me this weekend....I realized that when you sit back and let divine providence run your life, things tend to work out better than you originally thought. Now, I am not going to be overly religious here but I am going to say this. I don't believe in coincidences. I believe that everything that happens to us happens for a reason, either to teach us something or to make us into the kind of people we are capable of being. Do bad things happen to good people? Yes. Do good things happen to people who may not deserve them? Yes. But, we have to take the life that is given to us and make the most of it. Then, regardless of what you believe, you can work your way to being happy and being complete. Once I finally just let go and let God lead me, there are some many more directions I can go.

That's what I learned this weekend. And I'm so grateful for that. So, here's to living life one day at a time, and remembering who it is that helps us live it.

So, Kimmy (and the world), that is how my life has been going. Finally in the direction I want it to. Interestingly, I also realized that sometimes when you close a door, or think one is closing-it's only allowing a handful of others to open in your favor. I'm so glad that I have a lot of open doorways in front of me. I'm excited to see where they will lead.